Grade A Certified

"150 Years Is Going To Fly By…"

Posted by J. Tinsley on June 30, 2009

For those whose sphere of influence extends further than the blogging world, then the name Bernard Madoff may ring a bell. Not only is homie one of the most notorious criminals of all time, but he holds the title for single greatest investor fraud by a person acting alone. However, don’t act as if this is a post to bash him and all the money he stole from an almost countless number of families, you see, the courts have already done that.

By the time Bernie Mac (R.I.P. to the real one) sees the light of day again, America the world will be slightly different. Don’t believe me? Hit the jump.

By the time Madoff is released:

  • The United States will have went through another 37.5 presidential terms.
  • The compact disc and all its memories will be the butt of jokes.
  • Tight clothes will have been a trend five more times.
  • Michael Jackson’s death will be just as relevant as it was June 25, 2009.
  • He will be the ripe old age of 221, while myself, will be a young (at heart) 173.

In case you’re still in the dark, the one time non-executive chairman of the NASDAQ stock exchange was sentenced to 150 years in prison. While being sentenced to equates to the total of two lifetimes, his sentence is chump change compared to those frauds before him.

New York businessman Sholam Weiss, 55, was sentenced in February 2000 to 845 years in prison for his role in a plot that skimmed $400 million from an insurance company, costing many of its 25,000 customers their life savings. The government lists his release date as Nov. 23, 2754.

And Norman Schmidt, 73, was sentenced in Denver last year to 330 years in prison for his role in a multimillion-dollar investment scam. He’s scheduled for release in September 2291.

2754? Is the world even still going to be around then? I mean, that doesn’t even feel right typing. And who was the “compassionate” judge that gave him 845 instead of an even 850. What’s five years between friends right?

Anyway, happy trails Bernie Madoff. Join a few sports leagues and pick up a hobby. I hear it helps pass the time.

Bernard Madoff gets maximum 150 years in prison

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