Grade A Certified


Posted by J. Tinsley on June 4, 2009

I’ll be the first to admit that when it comes to posting, I draw blanks and sometimes lose the urge. However, just as quickly as the urge begins to leave me, it comes back tenfold. Ask anyone in the world who does something they love, maybe for a split second, they become less thrilled than they were when they first started whatever it is that they do. Confusing? Let it marinate for a second.

Allow me to vent and get some things off my chest I probably normally wouldn’t place in any other post. Just give me 10 minutes (if that).

For those that frequent this establishment, you’ve often seen me type the words “appreciate”, “visit”, “this site” all in the same sentence. Quite honestly, I mean it each and every time. I couldn’t have imagined doing a tape with one of the game’s fastest rising stars or being shouted out on some of the biggest hip-hop blogs on the net or even interviewing one of the most up and coming R&B talents. One thing I’ve always been is humble and appreciative of every opportunity afforded to me.

With that said, life off the computer is hectic, uncertain and crazy all at the same time.  Contrary to popular belief, I don’t sit at this computer and update all day, everyday. I wish I could, but I can’t.  A lot of these posts are saved as drafts long before I publish them and are only made available when I’m out and about job searching via the click of a button on my phone.

My life isn’t bad by any means, but like most people, could be a lot better. This job search, which has led me from Virginia Beach, to Atlanta, to Chicago and back to Virginia again, has been the most tiring, stressful and humbling process I’ve ever encountered in my life. If you would have told me back in January 2008 that a year and a half later I’d still be looking for a “career”, I probably would have laughed in your face and kept it moving.

I think I speak for most people my age when I say I need money, badly. Having two jobs, but only getting enough hours to barely pay my car note each month isn’t a good thing. Thank God I’m in good with my mom and grandma, or else I’d be on the streets somewhere.  All my life, I’ve always done what it takes to steer away from the negative influences in life and manage to stay on a good path. Have I made a mistake? Of course, who hasn’t? But I’ve never done that one mistake that would shatter not only my life, but my family’s as well. I’d be lying if I said moving drugs had never crossed my mind (and still creeps back on occasion). That’s just the thoughts that run through my head on a day-to-day basis, just being honest with you.

Last weekend, I (along with another friend of mine) went to go see my boy Rick who was recently moved to another correctional institution. Counting this visit, I’ve been to see him at least 12 times since he was first locked up back in 2004. One thing that doesn’t change, however, is the feeling of despair and heartlessness that overcomes me every time I walk through prison gates. After being locked up since he was 17, it’s sometimes hard for me to remember what it was like when he was out. Without exposing too much personal family info, he was given a raw deal by a person he felt he loved and trusted the most and is now doing time because of a mistake he felt was the right decision at one point. Right or wrong, he was my friend before prison and not much is going to change once he is released on April 30, 2010.

Yet and still, I can’t say the same for my friend’s young cousin who was just hit with 22 years for armed robbery. Add that with serving time in a level five prison yard and a release date of July 19, 2031 seems about as feasible as the feds ever finding out who was behind the Pac and Biggie murders.

Contrary to what has been stated thus far, I’m not the “Eminem of blogging” and this is not my “Relapse”. My life has great aspects and if I get into Georgetown for grad school, tack another one in the “good” column.  One thought that crosses my mind every morning is the story of a young girl I met just before I moved to Chicago around this time last year. She was afflicted with cancer and was only weeks (possibly days) away from taking her last breath. I’ll never forget the last thing she said to me.

“Every morning I wake up hoping this stuff [cancer] will be gone, and it’s not. But you know what makes me happy? Seeing my little brother’s smile. When I see that, I can’t be mad about too much.”

Even reading that brings a tear to my eye and I’ve never been an overly emotional person. It also helps put everything in perspective for me when I need a reality check. Stories such as this are why I work the way I work and think the way I think. The things you experience in life help mold a small portion of you, even if you don’t recognize it initially. I’ve got a million of them.

If you’ve made it this far, you’ve gotten a glimpse of me the person, not the blogger. I’ve always wanted this to be a personal music blog, by that I mean I wanted to expose my love of music to the world while showcasing what I believe to be my writing talent. Honestly, I have no clue how far this blog will take me. Maybe beyond my wildest imaginations or maybe no further than this screen I’m looking at right now. Whatever it is, I’m cool with it and I’ll take whatever is in store.

Summing it all up, who knows, maybe you took something from it, maybe you didn’t. That’s not for me to decide.

One thing I do hope you realize however…it’s the realest sh*t I ever wrote.

**LONERS (kudos to the DopeBoyz & TSS)**

Mickey Factz feat. KiD CuDi–Do My Do

Shawty Lo feat. Ludacris–Atlanta, GA

Rick Ross feat. Big Boi & Special Ed–Magnificent (remix)

Charles Hamilton–Reminder



No Responses Yet to “"THE REALEST SH*T I EVER WROTE…"”

  1. D Dotta said

    Well spoken and well put my man. I continue to tell you I share that same “We gon make it” mindset. And one day, 1 DAY MY BROTHA…We Gon MAKE IT!

  2. YM said

    I can relate yun, I come to this website everyday fam. I live in downtown richmond, and I go to jmu and I’m bout to grad in dec. Lol who would ever thought I would be a college grad in my situation, living close to neg energy my whole life…
    Google ymiswet

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